[Tran hits him in the stomach with back of his rifle] Tugg Speedman: The whole movie? Jeff Portnoy: Hey, guys, I’m good. That little fucker. Alpa Chino: Get down. [Jeff shouts from the crowd] And Simple Jack is the only movie we possess. Tran: You are Simple Jack.

Fuck that, man! No? Kirk Lazarus: Hats off for going there, especially knowing how the Academy is about that shit. Alpa Chino: You confused.

Cody: Oh, my God! Kevin Sandusky: Maybe he’s not, you know, Ridley Scott or something, but I think Renny Harlin’s a tremendous filmmaker like, Adventures of Ford Fairlane, you know, as far as an Andrew Dice Clay vehicle goes, it’s pretty decent. Kevin Sandusky: Jesus, man! Just because it’s the theme song, don’t make it not true. Tugg Speedman: You don’t know. I’m giving you gold.

Rob Slolom: Yeah. Copyright © 2020 All Rights Reserved | All images are copyright of their respective owners, [Speedman is on an iceberg with everything behind him frozen. He needs me. I wasn’t nominated. I’m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.

Yeah! We got to get Candisky to the chopper! Yeah! Alpa Chino: In being a dumbass? I got an itchy trigger finger here, and I’m ready to blow some shit up. [Studio Executive, Rob Slolom, taking Cockburn to have a meeting with Les Grossman via Satellite] [Portnoy takes Tran and holds a gun to his head] Four Leaf Tayback: He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis!

Smack it up, flip it, rub it down! Alpa Chino: I told you, for the last time, I love the pussy! I love the pussy! Tugg Speedman: I don’t know, but you need to tell them. No, no, no!

Six motherfucking VMA’s, baby. Cody: Bullshit!

Kirk Lazarus: Ain’t right. Les Grossman: Uh, joking. Say it! [into the walkie-talkie]

Huh? Ye-aah! Flaming Dragon Bodyguard: This is Flaming Dragon! Come over here. We only have 16 hours before they wake up! Tugg Speedman: Yeah, it was an intense experience, you know. Four Leaf Tayback: What’re you doing? Rebecca: I think you’ve got a fine brain, Jack. Les Grossman: Les Grossman.

Written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.

Les Grossman: Yeah. Alpa Chino: Get down.

Uh, Alpa, do you have any Booty Sweat?

Alright, now, dude, you got to get it. Still rolling!

Who’s with you?

[he weeps even louder]

Roll your shit up, man.

Tugg Speedman: Tugg who?

Hey.

Let me take a look at that map right quick.

Kevin Sandusky: Yeah, did you guys read the book? Alpa Chino: I know. [Tran hits him in the stomach again with back of his rifle] Kevin Sandusky: Well, it’s okay. Rob Slolom: Yep. Four Leaf Tayback: Beds give me nightmares. Tugg Speedman: Chill! Tugg Speedman: Were there some re-writes that I missed?

Blow the fucking bridge! Jeff Portnoy: Laugh at that, you bastards! Four Leaf Tayback: Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback. You must put those boys in the shit. [at a party where the crew and cast are partying their asses off; to Cockburn] Jeff Portnoy: Anyway, me and the campers from the uncool camp had to break into the rich girl camp.

Rob Slolom: Well, I… Alpa Chino: No! [Speedman puts the false teeth in his mouth] Don’t you get it? I just know the sound it makes when it takes a man’s life. Jeff Portnoy: Hey, guys, I’m good.

Cody: Oh, my God!
See? Okay.

[tries to grab hold of Speedman] Rebecca: I think you’ve got a fine brain, Jack. And maybe some crab apples for dessert, now, you hear? Portnoy catches it trying to rip the bat open with his teeth], [Speedman shoots his rifle into the air to stop them all arguing], [Lazarus walks up to stand in front of Speedman], [Lazarus quickly snatches the map from Speedman’s hand], [Lazarus is leading the actors through the jungle and Sandusky is following behind him], [Cody and Tayback are tied to a post in the Flaming Dragon compound], [Portnoy crawls to the edge of the river and starts drinking water from the river], [Lazarus slaps Alpa and he goes to punch back but Lazarus blocks the punch and pulls Alpa into an embrace], [Portnoy is flopped over on his stomach on an ox], [they’ve just noticed the Flaming Dragon compound], [after being captured and taken to the Flaming Dragon compound], [Tran, the leader of the Flaming Dragon compound, burns a cigar on Speedman’s chest and start hitting him with a stick], [Tran shows him a battered VHS box of Simple Jack], [Peck bursts into Grossman’s office unannounced interrupting his meeting], [Speedman is brought onto a makeshift stage with really bad looking makeup and wig], [gives Speedman false teeth just taken out of an old man’s mouth], [Tran hits him in the stomach with back of his rifle], [Speedman puts the false teeth in his mouth], [Tran hits him in the stomach again with back of his rifle], [the others all look at him and then just ignore him and continue talking], [after Sandusky explain what “The Wet Offensive” plan is], [on the phone to the Flaming Dragon Bodyguard], [after Grossman has refused to pay the ransom to free Speedman], [turns on Flo Rider’s “Low” and begins to dance to the beat], [watching Speedman reenact Simple Jack, with a really bad looking wig and false teeth, for a small group of chuckling guards], [Alpa Chino has just smacked Lazarus in the face], [Speedman continues his Simple Jack play], [starts doing a really bad fake cry, crowd of guards start applauding and then Speedman gets hit in the stomach by the guard on stage with him], [a little boy hands Speedman a tin, he removes the cloth from the tin and looks inside], [Portnoy is on the Ox covered with a sheet and Lazarus is walking the Ox dressed as a Vietnamese farmer], [after breaking into the Flaming Dragon compound and going into the ammunition hut], [Portnoy takes Tran and holds a gun to his head], [Portnoy runs away with Tran in his arms], [Lazarus finds Speedman in one of the Flaming Dragon huts], [Cody watches Alpa from the ammunition hut], [Cody throws a bomb in to the middle of the Flaming Dragon compound; to Tayback], [Portnoy has found the Heroin room in the Flaming Dragon compound], [grabs two fist full of heroin powder, then two guards burst in to the room and Portnoy starts to fart making the guards laugh], [Portnoy shoves the heroin in his hands into the guards’ faces and the guards drop to the ground; to Sandusky], [rips off his wig to reveal his blond hair], [he removes the beard and the contact lenses to reveal his blue eyes and speaks in his natural Australian accent], [there’s a pause before Speedman replies], [Portnoy is holding on to back of a moving truck when he notices Tayback], [Tayback jumps onto the truck holding on with his hands], [Speedman is running back on the bridge with Half Squat on his shoulders trying to stab him with a knife], [after the bridge explosion we see Speedman through the smoke with his arms out, Christ like then falling face down in the mud], [the others are yelling at him to come back into the helicopter], [gets to Speedman whose lying in the mud], [Tran and his guards are getting ready to shoot a grenade at the helicopter when Peck appears through the jungle], [holds the Tivo up and starts running towards the helicopter], Roald Dahl’s The Witches (2020) Best Movie Quotes, Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey Quotes on Netflix, Jungleland New Movie Quotes – ‘We’re not going to lose.’, Best Quotes from The Dark Knight Trilogy – ‘Why so serious?’.
Kirk Lazarus: (speaking about Simple Jack) You went full retard man, never go full retard. Tugg Speedman: It doesn’t matter anymore. Rick Peck: Tuggernuts! [he takes his bag of cocaine in jellybeans packet out, a bat flies in grabs hold of it and flies away with it]

He’s like 10 girls deep, 24/7.

Kirk Lazarus: Got a big job coming up next year. Action comedy directed and co-written by Ben Stiller. Kirk Lazarus: That’s your stick buddy? I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude! Monkey swine! It’s, just to be nominated…

The thing I love most in the world. Kirk Lazarus: You’ve got hands? Yeah, I’ve never been in the military, per se, but I have lost an appendage in the line of duty. Four Leaf Tayback: Laz, come on! You can untie me now. Prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months. Yeah. [starts doing a really bad fake cry, crowd of guards start applauding and then Speedman gets hit in the stomach by the guard on stage with him] Tugg Speedman: Oh, I see you got the VHS.

Rick Peck: No, more like what do YOU need, Les? Cody: I don’t know what it’s called.

Of course.

Rob Slolom: Uh, Les, that’s Four Leaf. [he takes out a can of Booty Sweat and sticks the tip of his Bowie knife into it, making it shoot out everywhere] [Portnoy is holding on to back of a moving truck when he notices Tayback] I read the in-flight magazine. Les Grossman: Go have fun.

I'm a dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude!" Jack? Ha-ha-ha! You wouldn’t say “Chineses.”. Rick Peck: A G5 airplane?

Tugg Speedman: This is insane!

You remembered my name. Alpa Chino: It’s “Viet Cong.” There’s no “S.” It’s already plural.

Who are you? Let’s face it. Damien Cockburn: Uh, that’s me, sir.

Are you still crazy? Acting like you some one-man GPS! Alpa Chino: Maybe y’all heard of me. [Portnoy crawls to the edge of the river and starts drinking water from the river] [to Peck] [Lazarus slaps Alpa and he goes to punch back but Lazarus blocks the punch and pulls Alpa into an embrace] Jeff Portnoy as one of the characters: In some countries… [after breaking into the Flaming Dragon compound and going into the ammunition hut] Rick Peck: “And?” Alpa Chino: Get the fuck down.


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