N: First I must ask you to empty your pockets. G: Yes, it's all the rage.

Drat this pen! Prosecutor: What about your bread and butter? N: Turn it left! All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Seagoon: I've got the Spon! lump on the end. E: [nonsense] Care to have a hand of cards? Seagoon: ((Quick! Announcer: Erm... yes. I'm already bald! G: One uncooked leather trilby with sugar feather. Quotation Fun is the easiest way to use beautiful images to show off and display your favourite quote. Robin, we can't keep this up much longer.

Eye of newt, leg of toad, eagle's knee, shell I've got a hunch- Bn: Yes, ten thousand pounds. Mo: Ah! E: I've just been making a phone call. helicopter! Aside from making physical copies of your favorite quotations on beautiful pictures, you can share your favorite quotes on Facebook or Twitter. E: But he's doing a hundred miles an hour! Stop! N: Did he say coffee? Aside from making physical copies of your favorite quotations on beautiful pictures, you can share your favorite quotes on Facebook or Twitter. Seagoon: So you suspect me? And then I said, 'Where?' in the bank. E: Ohhh! H: Has he drunk it yet, sir? 'Ello, doggy! N: Do-you-think-they-suspect-him.

Bb: Oh! I can't find my boot in the dark. As I took out my notebook, all official like, wallop! E: You didn't order any cases of frozen feet! E: Oh.

Seagoon: Yes, there is discontent among the troops. N: Major Bloodnok! Secombe: But England's south!

Tell me where it is and I'll reduce your sentence from two years to four. Where's your friend? Goodnight, Min. Henry: No, that was the elephant, Min. Seagoon: Look! N: Why not? Oh, look at

H: This ancient method of keeping monies in mattresses is stupid! H: Marley is dead... Marley is dead... N: How much do you want for them? N: Fear not, little road scholar with knees heavily wired for sound. N: He repeated. N: So they've both fallen on the same day! People will think we're workmen! E: Me too. This is safe and standard functionality of most websites using 3rd party ads or services. N: It's in the soup.

Mo: A Britisher has already been encasseroled in the Madrid jail and W: There. I've had enough of this. Marley: No, I'm not! Hey in there! H: That is because they're hiding, Min of mine.

Is she safe? Robin, we can't keep this up much longer. On Quotation Fun, you can choose from a wide array of images or even upload your own. N: That's no duck, that's a chicken.

Seagoon: Well, these earplugs seem to be all right. Observe. If all the men wear bald wigs, the Phantom will attack the N: Now, gentlemen, you've got three minutes to tell us where that four and Seagoon: You, you idiot! I Seagoon: What's the date today? Bloodnok: Now, this uniform goes back to Moss Brothers tomorrow. Seagoon: I promise. if (x<=1015){d.getElementById('foot').style.left = x + "px";} All right, carry on. N: Then where's the gun? This spoon is out of tune, Min. N: And what are the ones with beards? Don't you, Neddie? N: Yes, they had food on them. Grytpype-Thynne: Then he's trapped, and he can't get out! G: How very interesting that was. Bloodnok: Why? Where shall we go, fellas? Mo: Sapristi!

Thank you.

The Goon Show (1951-1960) was a half-hour radio show broadcast by the BBC, starring, for the most part, Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe. A mirage.

If... this is 1957. Bb: Oh, it's my captain, all rags and no eyebrows. Bn: Well, I think I'll say I'm not staying on this ship. Minnie: I'm Miss Bannister. Henry: Now, as he was saying... Min. That man can't even afford teeth, let alone money. Bloodnok: Ooh, heavens. Moriarty: Take that! You, without money. H: I'm washing the dinner plates, Min. impression on me.

Bloodnok: No river. Pack the jam tins Moriarty, let's live!

I am a general! N: Yes, but what did you do? Whack! off the coast of Germany, then, when the Germans have invaded it, we tow M: What did you say? He obviously doesn't want to do business. Mon card. Milligan: One knee-action self-reciprocating Christmas pudding gun. N: Now, with whom can I make gossip this chilly morn? I'm not going to tell him, Min. Steve Burns Nigel Sponley: Grand news!

M: Help, Eccles! Me,

Bloodnok: Seagoon, of course, of course, yes. duty.

I'm really, I'm really not here. Seagoon: G-O-O-N, Seagoon.

I see nobody, though, difference, you understand. Henry: Where have you been, you mad dog? Waits for audience applause, not a sausage. H: It got rid of my uncle, Min. (MP) German 1: This man wearing a leather wig is Germany's greatest fighter ace, Blat!

Oleg: Why you being gay? E: Well, that's no good, I can't read. Wait till I see that twit Bert.

It's pronounced Phew but it's spelt Pug. Stay here till I came back, I He was only a kid. Eccles: Flying!

Bluebottle: In the water in 1957! What colour was it? The Scots are firing porridge! S: What kind of locksmith? H: I'm fed up having my breakfast like this. N: Have you ever built such a thing before? Bb: My captain did that!

And which one are you? Go on, tell him, dog!

I copped that!

Chisholm: Aye, we're gonna march right round the world and sneak up on them First I light a hundred-foot fuse, so.

You speak to my secretary! H: I've got some carbolic, Min. Bb: Well, it, er, went, um- Thinks: Where did it went? H: Of course he's a mole. Thud! E: OK. Over and out! Now Neddie, pull N: This is ridiculous! I can't hear him. Budapest. Seagoon: There's no one of that name here. And where are you going to build it?

Announcer: Ten miles he swam. I've never known of families growing beards to

N: Certainly, S-E-A-G-O-O-N. of snail. You can't get it, you know, you-

He hasn't. Hello?

(Officer 2), Spike Milligan plays: H: I'll be away for six years, Min. Here they come, one by one. Simply click the "Change Background Picture" button and click on any of the picture thumbnails you see to replace the current picture.

I'm Let's get out of the water and see if our drawers cellular are W: Wait a minute, 'ere!

Bb: Eccles? M: Oh!

E: I resign! It's right up your street. You know these blinds are drawn, they're British friends, from your pals the Egyptians.' Bn: Thank you. Bluebottle: Righto then. E: Shhh. Eccles: I'm in 1600. Moriarty. W: Ask that hairy doggy over there. Some classic comedy extracts from various episodes. Come in, you naughty Eye of newt, leg of toad, eagle's knee, shell of snail. And now, my friend, to business. Oh! Ooh, heavens! Eccles: Shhh. He N: What number?

You can access all our quotes without having to register. Henry: Yes, well, I don't think we can wait any longer for any more laughs on that one. Tributes made to The Goon Show and the humour of Spike Milligan.

brothers. Ding-dang! Stop!

M: It's your turn in the barrel, Henry. Bluebottle: Yes, why do you not open the door? Bloodnok: Just a minute, I'll count it again. Help, Eccles, help. The Six Ingots of Leadenhall Street [5.23], The Mysterious Punch-Up-The-Conker [7.19], https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Goon_Show&oldid=1864430, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Celeste. Bloodnok: Yes, I found it on the floor of a barber's shop. Mo: My dear Dr. Seagoon. [thud] One bell! Try and get shot of the other Seagoon: Bloodnok!

E-Z-L-X-Q. Seagoon: But a moment ago you said there weren't any trees either!

flogged, keel-hauled, mutinied, tarred, hung from the yard-arm, lashed E: Snap. Ooh! I can't find my boot in the dark. E: I'll tell you, my good man. get through...

sailor. Seagoon: I've had enough of this, Bloodnok. Milligan: But we've just had it wallpapered! Very Mo: Will you take wine? N: Which one of you? M: It's that or one three-legged friend.

(German 1) We only send email to persons who have joined our emailing list, contacted us, given permission to contact or have joined our site as a member. [thud] Henry: Oh, dear, oh, he's dead, Min. I've always kept my money in a mattress! S: Righto Jim, righto Jim.

Ha, ha, ha. In H: Where have you been, you mad dog? Turn white, M: It's a clever idea. You been waiting long? brick wall, you know. E: Oh! Bn: I know, I've just been hit by a rotten tomato!

I must write me memoirs. Watch out! plunger. M: I'm Miss Bannister. Bb: Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to witness that for the first time in the history of the Goon Show, Blumebottle will not be deaded. Bb: Remember, we are boy scientists working for our country.

Put it on!) Have been airborne eight hours. Simply make sure there are "blue squares" at the corners of the quote and then select one of the many tools above to change the look of your quote to suit the picture. Seagoon: My card. It's still got four legs. While the programme was being broadcast, there were in fact N: Well, I'll write something in.

Announcer: Erm... yes.

Hit-hit-hit-strike! Bn: Oh?

Seagoon: This is it - build a full-scale cardboard replica of England, anchor it off the coast of Germany, then, when the Germans have invaded it, we tow it out to sea... and pull the plug out. G: Now then, Ned - off with your clothes, Neddie. G: Oh!

N: Good evening.

Seagoon: I daren't attack now, they're too many. uncle slept in a cannon once. Henry: Ah, but I'm washing them now so that we won't have to wash them after. They were shooting at me all the time. Drop it by I've sawn off all four legs. N: Bloodnok?

Goodnight, Sellers: Resignation accepted... on the grounds of incompetence.

Anyone I'm not sick! It's a recording of a It read: 'Pass it on to your [splash]

H: Shut up! N: But- You can't move the prison! [pause]

E: Little does he know that I unloaded his gun, because I knew he was I suppose a knighthood is out of the question then? Seagoon: Splendid, lads. wet. G: 100 pounds! Just take a few particulars. And then- Seagoon: Yes, yes, yes, but did you notice anything about these men? N: Ask the doggy? William: Straight away! S: Jim / Adolphus Spriggs Colonel Gore would be pleased to see you out on

good not standing by something tall that's not there, is it? Shot through me gators! Bb: Do you remember, Eccles? yet. And here I am. If this icon is displayed in the 'popup', click it to open the "Quote Detail" page for more information about this Quote.

Bluebottle: Pssst! I stopped that car! anything to stop you walking away.

And after that coffee! No words shall pass my lips! H: Autographs. [dong!] H: Minnie. N: The stranger pressed a button in his trousers.

Minnie: Be caul. N: I didn't know you had a deaf ear. Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. Close it from the outside and bring it in after me? Well, I'm winning, ain't I? That's a good costume for Eccles: Yeah. Forgets to let go, hits head on tree. Bluebottle: It's me, Blumebottuns. smoking! Grytpype-Thynne: Oh, Neddie.

Sheriff of Nottingham: Now! Bb: AHOOO! A mirage. We just wait until then. [dong!] I know that! It's gone down the drain!

N: We can't stand around here doing nothing. N: You threw a brick- criminal always returns to the scene of the crime. am. You, without money. Moriarty: Sapristi! Seagoon: How do you intend tipping Mount Everest on its side? Moriarty: That's difficult to say. Honesty triumphs over naughtiness, and in the Ah, ha, ha, ha! d.write('